Fire in the Hole
I hate Minions.
I consider myself blessed that my children thrived through the early part of the 21st century without becoming obsessed with Minions and Minion-adjacent things. I’ve never seen Despicable Me, much less Despicable Me 4 – the inspiration for one of the most amazing magnetic polishes I’ve ever seen.
Whatcha “Fire in the Hole” is from May’s “Vending Machine Snacks” Polish Pickup. It’s magnetic, with a galaxy-like shifting effect and multi-sized round glitter. I have a whole new respect for indie nail polish creators when I consider all of the risks and experimentation that must have gone into just this one nail polish.
This is two coats of “Fire in the Hole” magnetized with a neodymium magnet, over Cuticula Mic Drop Base Coat in “Froot Loops” and under Cuticula Limitless Top Coat in “Vampire Blood“.
June 2026 Ipsy Bag – Blend the Rules
I’m not gonna lie…the first thought in my head when I saw this month’s ipsy bag was…those look like luscious lips. Juicy, wet, FLAPPY lips.
I’m not gonna lie…this month’s bag is mostly a dud. While I love my product choice – Kate Somerville Goat Milk Moisturizing Cream – the rest are very underwhelming. Also inside the flappy lips: Beauty for Certain Lip + Cheek Stick in “Sangria” (will be giving away); Bodyography Lip Pencil in “Timber” (meh); Skin&Co Roma Truffle Therapy Amino-Peptide Complex Face Serum (I got this in my very first Birchbox – I have been using it at night); and BISHA Essential Baby Eyeshadow Duo. The stuff isn’t horrible – it’s just not exciting.
I subscribe to the original ipsy bag for $14/month (recently increased from $13/month) and ipsy Ultimate (formerly Icon Box, and before that – Glam Bag X) for an extra $60/quarterly (recently increased from $43/quarterly). If you’d like to try Ipsy – click here. I’ll earn 250 points if you sign up through my referral link.
Here Be Dragons
First off, ignore how shitty the tips of my nails look…I kept forgetting to take a picture and by the time I remembered, I had been wearing the polish for four days or so.
Alchemy Lacquers “Here Be Dragons” is from March’s “Sky Creatures” Polish Pickup and is inspired by a game called Stellaris. I googled it and I can totally see it. The polish is rather sheer and since I used two light coats, the edges of my nails wore pretty quickly,
I loved it so much that I took it to the salon for my pedicure last weekend. It is an amazing summer polish!
This is two coats of “Here Be Dragons”, over Cuticula Mic Drop Base Coat in “Froot Loops” and under Cuticula Limitless Top Coat in “Vampire Blood“.
I No Longer Try to be Good
Garden Path Lacquers “I No Longer Try to be Good” is from April’s “Album Covers” Polish Pickup. This beautiful magnetic polish is inspired by the Florence + The Machine album, ‘Everybody Scream.’
It’s a lot like “Trapped in Time”, no?
This is two coats of “I No Longer Try to be Good” magnetized with a neodymium magnet, over Cuticula Mic Drop Base Coat in “Froot Loops” and under Cuticula Limitless Top Coat in “Vampire Blood“.
Polish Pickup May 2026 – Vending Machine Snacks
May’s theme is “Vending Machine Snacks” and I originally ordered three polishes, but I got a note that Paint It Pretty Polish “Grab and Go” would be arriving with next month’s order. Boo!
Whatcha “Fire in the Hole” ($14) is inspired by scene in Despicable Me 4…there are four of those movies? I have not even seen one of them.
Envy Lacquer “Who are you Calling a Cootie Queen?” ($13) is inspired by those hilarious Orbits Gum commercials from years ago. You Lint Licker!
A conservative month…maybe I will catch up?
Bougie Brazilian Ulta Haul
So my daughter makes fun of all the Sol de Janeiro that I buy…she says that I have the taste of an 11 year old ‘Sephora kid’…She’s 18 and it is totally lost on her that these 11 year olds have MOTHERS and THEIR MOTHERS are the ones buying these kids adult products at Sephora and making Tik Toks to monetize their children. All of this is to say…I don’t smell like an 11 year old – these 11 year olds smell like a 50 year old woman!
ANYWAY…Sol de Janeiro came out with a new scent and I purchased it sight unsmelled. Rosa Charmosa AKA Cheriosa 91 is a passionfruit and rose mix, so I was fairly certain I would LOVE it and LOVE it I did. I picked up Sol de Janeiro Cheirosa 91 Hair & Body Perfume Mist ($26) and Rosa Charmosa Dewy Cream ($24) and it’s become my “go to” scent. I bought the smaller sizes, but will be buying larger sizes shortly.
I figured I would keep on going and filled my cart with Sol de Janeiro. I picked up a Sol de Janeiro Brazilian Bum Bum Visibly Firming Refillable Body Cream ($44), Sol de Janeiro Beija Flor Body Collagen-Boosting Elasti-Cream with Bio-Retinol ($48), and Sol de Janeiro Rio Deo Aluminum-Free Refillable Deodorant Cheirosa 68 ($18). I’ll be using the Rosa Charmosa with Beija Flor – they meld well together.
Rounding off my cart, I also got a new lube – Playground Free Love Extra-Gentle Water-Based Personal Lubricant ($18) – because Ulta was out of stock of the other one I like. I also grabbed an Ulta Beauty Magic Marker Lip Stain in “Cocoa Mood” ($11.50) and it’s the Rum Raisin of my dreams. (Remember in the 90s, when Clinique “Rum Raisin” was all the rage?)
My order got me several different gifts with purchase. I got a Cetaphil Facial Cleanser with my $50 purchase. I also got Sol de Janeiro 4 piece gift with my $65 brand purchase, which included a Bum Bum Cream and Body Spray only in the bag – it was missing the Body Badalada Lotion that was supposed to come with it. I am kind of salty about that, because I was looking forward to trying it.
The BIG gift with purchase was the Free Diamond Exclusive 40 Piece Beauty Bag with select $185 shipped purchase, Inside the super cute terry cloth makeup bag was tarte tarlette Tubing Mascara Primer; Osea Undaria Algae Body Oil; deluxe size Prada “Paradoxe“; Peach & Lily Retinol for All Renewing Serum; Milani Conceal + Perfect Blur Out Powder; Briogeo Don’t Despair, Repair!; Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in “Whiskey”; Beautybio The Balance Gel Cleanser; Fresh Black Tea Renewal Serum; CeraVe Invisible Mineral Sunscreen; Supergoop! Dew Screen; Living proof. Perfect hair Day Dry Shampoo (going to the daughter); Verb Frizz Defense Smoothing Spray; Urban Veda Daily Purifying Facial Wash; Cetaphil Nourishing Oil to Foam Cleanser; Rare Beauty Soft Pinch Dewy Liquid Blush; Clarins Lip Comfort Oil “04”; Joico Dream Blowout Glass; Buxom Plump Shot Lip Serum; Origins Check and Balances Gentle Foaming Face Wash; La Roche-Posay Toleriane Purifying Foam Cleanser; Mighty Patch Invisible+ (definitely going to the daughter); Jane Iredale Just Kissed Lip and Cheek Stain; Vichy Liftactiv 16% Pure Vitamin C Brightening Serum; ma:nyo Galac Niacin 3.0 Essence; Sebastian Professional Porion 9 Leave-in Conditioner & Styling Cream; Pureology Hydrate Shampoo & Conditioner (deluxe bottles!); Morphe Solo Artist Priming Cream Eyeshadow in “Mixtape”; Pixi Glow Tonic; L.A. Girl Perfect Precision Lip Liner in “Blushing”; Ethique Beauty Love at First Swipe Scalp Health Mini Solid Shampoo (I’m frustrated with how long it takes to use the Kitsch one I got, but I’ll give this one a try); Sunday Riley CEO Brightening Serum; Hourglass Unlocked Instant Extensions Mascara; Carolina Herrera “La Bomba”; divi Scalp Serum; Rabanne “Million Gold for her”; NOYZ “Detour”; and Estee Lauder Double Wear Smooth & Blur Primer. I am not even made that it’s 90% skin stuff – it will save me a few months of buying face wash and serums.
I had a $20 off coupon code, as well as $20.50 in Ulta points, which is what I used to justify this little splurge. Only $684 to Diamond in 2027.
Are They Made from Real Girl Scouts?
Who can say no to Wednesday Addams?
Envy Lacquer “Are They Made from Real Girl Scouts?” is from February’s “Cute but Deadly” Polish Pickup and is inspired by the famous line from The Addams Family film. This glittery polish reminds me of the inside of a Thin Mint cookie, crumbly and delicious. This polish is very textured and it lost a bit of the glitter when I put a top coat over it…oh well.
This is two coats of “Are They Made from Real Girl Scouts?”, over Cuticula Mic Drop Base Coat in “Froot Loops” and under Cuticula Limitless Top Coat in “Vampire Blood“.
Red Pumps
Do these red pumps look orange to you?
This is the final polish from my coworker, THE GOAT: Ducato “Red Pumps”. It’s just a nice little orangish red creme polish with just a hint of jelly. No streaks after the second coat and it wore well.
This is two coats of “Red Pumps”, over Cuticula Mic Drop Base Coat in “Froot Loops” and under Cuticula Limitless Top Coat in “Vampire Blood“.
May 2026 Ipsy Ultimate – Summer Collection
Ipsy is really pushing the Natasha Denona these days…I’m not even mad.
Two of my products choices were Natasha: Natasha Denona My Dream Eyeshadow Palette ($72) and Natasha Denona My Dream Cheek Trio ($48). Be careful with the eye palette – she is SUPER pigmented. I didn’t realize that the cheek trio was a single blush shade and two highlighters – with a cream texture, no less. Even so – I LOVE the blush shade. it applies wonderfully with my usual brush and it reminds me of NARS Orgasm. Definitely a keeper.
I haven’t had a chance to try my other product choice yet – Rare Beauty Find Comfort Bouncy Body Cream – Awaken Confidence ($36).
Most of the other products were really nice: YSL Candy Glaze Lip Gloss Stick ($43 – although I would never spend $43 on lip gloss, I can see why it’s so much – it’s great); BISHA Essential Setting Powder in “Tokyo Translucent” ($40 – perfect for when you don’t want full foundation, but don’t want to be shiny); Ciele The Blush Brush ($32 – haven’t tried it yet); and Dermalactives Resurfacing Honey and Charcoal Mask ($159 – fucking expensive, but it makes my skin butter smooth, so I get it).
The final product is an abomination of god: Makeup by Mario Ultra Suede Cozy Lip Creme in “Nude Suede” ($26). It was like putting concealer on my lips – totally unusable. This one is going in la basura.
Except for the abominable lip creme, this is a really nice box. The box value is $456, one of the higher combinations I’ve gotten.
I subscribe to the original ipsy bag for $14/month (recently increased from $13/month) and ipsy Ultimate (formerly Icon Box, and before that – Glam Bag X) for an extra $60/quarterly (recently increased from $43/quarterly). If you’d like to try Ipsy – click here. I’ll earn 250 points if you sign up through my referral link.
Trapped in Time with Blue
So…my first idea was to use REAL mosquitos on my nails…but I couldn’t figure out how to get dead mosquitos that weren’t squished flat on my arm.
I was going for a more detailed version of a mosquito trapped in amber, using Colores de Carol “Trapped in Time”. I don’t think anyone is out there making mosquito nail decals, so I dug through my stash of decals and I found a Julep Halloween set with skulls, snakes…and spiders! Turns out, there ARE spiders that drink human blood…indirectly from mosquitos. I think they turned out very nice – the silver was a nice contrast to the amber. I was even more impressed that the stickers stayed flat and didn’t lift up at all, seeing as they were from 2017!
I just happened to have Blue the Dinosaur laying around…don’t most autistic people own at least ONE dinosaur?
This is two coats of “Trapped in Time” magnetized with a neodymium magnet, over Cuticula Mic Drop Base Coat in “Froot Loops” and under the Julep Spiders, I used Cuticula Limitless Top Coat in “Vampire Blood“.