Polish Pickup May 2026 – Vending Machine Snacks
May’s theme is “Vending Machine Snacks” and I originally ordered three polishes, but I got a note that Paint It Pretty Polish “Grab and Go” would be arriving with next month’s order. Boo!
Whatcha “Fire in the Hole” ($14) is inspired by scene in Despicable Me 4…there are four of those movies? I have not even seen one of them.
Envy Lacquer “Who are you Calling a Cootie Queen?” ($13) is inspired by those hilarious Orbits Gum commercials from years ago. You Lint Licker!
A conservative month…maybe I will catch up?
Bougie Brazilian Ulta Haul
So my daughter makes fun of all the Sol de Janeiro that I buy…she says that I have the taste of an 11 year old ‘Sephora kid’…She’s 18 and it is totally lost on her that these 11 year olds have MOTHERS and THEIR MOTHERS are the ones buying these kids adult products at Sephora and making Tik Toks to monetize their children. All of this is to say…I don’t smell like an 11 year old – these 11 year olds smell like a 50 year old woman!
ANYWAY…Sol de Janeiro came out with a new scent and I purchased it sight unsmelled. Rosa Charmosa AKA Cheriosa 91 is a passionfruit and rose mix, so I was fairly certain I would LOVE it and LOVE it I did. I picked up Sol de Janeiro Cheirosa 91 Hair & Body Perfume Mist ($26) and Rosa Charmosa Dewy Cream ($24) and it’s become my “go to” scent. I bought the smaller sizes, but will be buying larger sizes shortly.
I figured I would keep on going and filled my cart with Sol de Janeiro. I picked up a Sol de Janeiro Brazilian Bum Bum Visibly Firming Refillable Body Cream ($44), Sol de Janeiro Beija Flor Body Collagen-Boosting Elasti-Cream with Bio-Retinol ($48), and Sol de Janeiro Rio Deo Aluminum-Free Refillable Deodorant Cheirosa 68 ($18). I’ll be using the Rosa Charmosa with Beija Flor – they meld well together.
Rounding off my cart, I also got a new lube – Playground Free Love Extra-Gentle Water-Based Personal Lubricant ($18) – because Ulta was out of stock of the other one I like. I also grabbed an Ulta Beauty Magic Marker Lip Stain in “Cocoa Mood” ($11.50) and it’s the Rum Raisin of my dreams. (Remember in the 90s, when Clinique “Rum Raisin” was all the rage?)
My order got me several different gifts with purchase. I got a Cetaphil Facial Cleanser with my $50 purchase. I also got Sol de Janeiro 4 piece gift with my $65 brand purchase, which included a Bum Bum Cream and Body Spray only in the bag – it was missing the Body Badalada Lotion that was supposed to come with it. I am kind of salty about that, because I was looking forward to trying it.
The BIG gift with purchase was the Free Diamond Exclusive 40 Piece Beauty Bag with select $185 shipped purchase, Inside the super cute terry cloth makeup bag was tarte tarlette Tubing Mascara Primer; Osea Undaria Algae Body Oil; deluxe size Prada “Paradoxe“; Peach & Lily Retinol for All Renewing Serum; Milani Conceal + Perfect Blur Out Powder; Briogeo Don’t Despair, Repair!; Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in “Whiskey”; Beautybio The Balance Gel Cleanser; Fresh Black Tea Renewal Serum; CeraVe Invisible Mineral Sunscreen; Supergoop! Dew Screen; Living proof. Perfect hair Day Dry Shampoo (going to the daughter); Verb Frizz Defense Smoothing Spray; Urban Veda Daily Purifying Facial Wash; Cetaphil Nourishing Oil to Foam Cleanser; Rare Beauty Soft Pinch Dewy Liquid Blush; Clarins Lip Comfort Oil “04”; Joico Dream Blowout Glass; Buxom Plump Shot Lip Serum; Origins Check and Balances Gentle Foaming Face Wash; La Roche-Posay Toleriane Purifying Foam Cleanser; Mighty Patch Invisible+ (definitely going to the daughter); Jane Iredale Just Kissed Lip and Cheek Stain; Vichy Liftactiv 16% Pure Vitamin C Brightening Serum; ma:nyo Galac Niacin 3.0 Essence; Sebastian Professional Porion 9 Leave-in Conditioner & Styling Cream; Pureology Hydrate Shampoo & Conditioner (deluxe bottles!); Morphe Solo Artist Priming Cream Eyeshadow in “Mixtape”; Pixi Glow Tonic; L.A. Girl Perfect Precision Lip Liner in “Blushing”; Ethique Beauty Love at First Swipe Scalp Health Mini Solid Shampoo (I’m frustrated with how long it takes to use the Kitsch one I got, but I’ll give this one a try); Sunday Riley CEO Brightening Serum; Hourglass Unlocked Instant Extensions Mascara; Carolina Herrera “La Bomba”; divi Scalp Serum; Rabanne “Million Gold for her”; NOYZ “Detour”; and Estee Lauder Double Wear Smooth & Blur Primer. I am not even made that it’s 90% skin stuff – it will save me a few months of buying face wash and serums.
I had a $20 off coupon code, as well as $20.50 in Ulta points, which is what I used to justify this little splurge. Only $684 to Diamond in 2027.
Are They Made from Real Girl Scouts?
Who can say no to Wednesday Addams?
Envy Lacquer “Are They Made from Real Girl Scouts?” is from February’s “Cute but Deadly” Polish Pickup and is inspired by the famous line from The Addams Family film. This glittery polish reminds me of the inside of a Thin Mint cookie, crumbly and delicious. This polish is very textured and it lost a bit of the glitter when I put a top coat over it…oh well.
This is two coats of “Are They Made from Real Girl Scouts?”, over Cuticula Mic Drop Base Coat in “Froot Loops” and under Cuticula Limitless Top Coat in “Vampire Blood“.
Red Pumps
Do these red pumps look orange to you?
This is the final polish from my coworker, THE GOAT: Ducato “Red Pumps”. It’s just a nice little orangish red creme polish with just a hint of jelly. No streaks after the second coat and it wore well.
This is two coats of “Red Pumps”, over Cuticula Mic Drop Base Coat in “Froot Loops” and under Cuticula Limitless Top Coat in “Vampire Blood“.
May 2026 Ipsy Ultimate – Summer Collection
Ipsy is really pushing the Natasha Denona these days…I’m not even mad.
Two of my products choices were Natasha: Natasha Denona My Dream Eyeshadow Palette ($72) and Natasha Denona My Dream Cheek Trio ($48). Be careful with the eye palette – she is SUPER pigmented. I didn’t realize that the cheek trio was a single blush shade and two highlighters – with a cream texture, no less. Even so – I LOVE the blush shade. it applies wonderfully with my usual brush and it reminds me of NARS Orgasm. Definitely a keeper.
I haven’t had a chance to try my other product choice yet – Rare Beauty Find Comfort Bouncy Body Cream – Awaken Confidence ($36).
Most of the other products were really nice: YSL Candy Glaze Lip Gloss Stick ($43 – although I would never spend $43 on lip gloss, I can see why it’s so much – it’s great); BISHA Essential Setting Powder in “Tokyo Translucent” ($40 – perfect for when you don’t want full foundation, but don’t want to be shiny); Ciele The Blush Brush ($32 – haven’t tried it yet); and Dermalactives Resurfacing Honey and Charcoal Mask ($159 – fucking expensive, but it makes my skin butter smooth, so I get it).
The final product is an abomination of god: Makeup by Mario Ultra Suede Cozy Lip Creme in “Nude Suede” ($26). It was like putting concealer on my lips – totally unusable. This one is going in la basura.
Except for the abominable lip creme, this is a really nice box. The box value is $456, one of the higher combinations I’ve gotten.
I subscribe to the original ipsy bag for $14/month (recently increased from $13/month) and ipsy Ultimate (formerly Icon Box, and before that – Glam Bag X) for an extra $60/quarterly (recently increased from $43/quarterly). If you’d like to try Ipsy – click here. I’ll earn 250 points if you sign up through my referral link.
Trapped in Time with Blue
So…my first idea was to use REAL mosquitos on my nails…but I couldn’t figure out how to get dead mosquitos that weren’t squished flat on my arm.
I was going for a more detailed version of a mosquito trapped in amber, using Colores de Carol “Trapped in Time”. I don’t think anyone is out there making mosquito nail decals, so I dug through my stash of decals and I found a Julep Halloween set with skulls, snakes…and spiders! Turns out, there ARE spiders that drink human blood…indirectly from mosquitos. I think they turned out very nice – the silver was a nice contrast to the amber. I was even more impressed that the stickers stayed flat and didn’t lift up at all, seeing as they were from 2017!
I just happened to have Blue the Dinosaur laying around…don’t most autistic people own at least ONE dinosaur?
This is two coats of “Trapped in Time” magnetized with a neodymium magnet, over Cuticula Mic Drop Base Coat in “Froot Loops” and under the Julep Spiders, I used Cuticula Limitless Top Coat in “Vampire Blood“.
I’m in Charge
This is me, not remembering that I purchased magnetic nail polish four years ago, WAY before I became obsessed with magnetic nail polish…
I’ve always like metallic nail polish, but this gold in another level. It’s very smooth and not streaky at all. It worked well with my magnet, so I’m looking forward to trying the other polish in the set.
This is two coats of “I’m in Charge” magnetized with a neodymium magnet, over Cuticula Mic Drop Base Coat in “Froot Loops” and under Cuticula Limitless Top Coat in “Vampire Blood“.
Use Your Illusion
How many times have I written here that Guns ‘N’ Roses was my very first concert? I was turning sixteen and I BEGGED my mom for tickets…so she brought me, my younger sister, and my best friend at the time, who…just a few short months later, would have sex with my first boyfriend and take his virginity. Yes, forty four years ago and I’m still salty – what about the girl code??? Uteruses before duderuses! Anyway, I am petty and she has 4 different baby daddies these days and we are NOT friends, frenemies or even acquaintances. Estranged, if you will…which is also one of the most underrated G’N’R songs off that album.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE Alchemy Lacquers “Use Your Illusion” from April’s “Album Covers” Polish Pickup. It references the cover of ‘Use Your Illusion II’ flawlessly. I am really getting the hang of magnetic polishes – that’s pretty much all I wear these days.
This is two coats of “Use Your Illusion” magnetized with a neodymium magnet, over Cuticula Mic Drop Base Coat in “Froot Loops” and under Cuticula Limitless Top Coat in “Vampire Blood“.
All is Vanity
‘All is Vanity’ by Charles Allan Gilbert is probably THE most famous optical illusion paintings ever created. Although there is no sailboat (or a schooner), it doesn’t take a genius to see the optical illusion.
Zombie Claw “All is Vanity” is inspired by the famous illusion. Although it is very Halloween-y, it’s actually from last October’s “Optical illusions” Polish Pickup. I wasn’t sure what to expect from the bottle, but it’s another flakie-tastic polish – flaming flakies in a sea of sheer violet. The sheer base made the polish shrink around the edges, but it wasn’t horrific.
This is two coats of “All is Vanity”, over Cuticula Mic Drop Base Coat in “Froot Loops” and under Glisten & Glow Glitter Grabber and Cuticula Limitless Top Coat in “Vampire Blood“.
Polish Pickup April 2026 – Album Covers
Oh, I love a good album cover…do kids even care about album cover art these days? Even though the theme slapped, I showed some restraint…my untried are backed up all over the coffee table.
Alchemy Lacquers “Use Your Illusion” ($13) is magnetic polish inspired by Guns ‘N’ Roses ‘Use Your Illusion’, specifically by the color scheme of ‘Use Your Illusion II’. I have a hard time picking a favorite between I and II, but II does include ‘Estranged,’ which is one of my faves. Did you know that G’N’R was my very first concert?
Cuticula Limitless Top Coat “No Doubt, It’s Fruity” ($10) is inspired by…No Doubt probably?
Garden Path Lacquers “I No Longer Try to be Good” ($13.50) is a magnetic polish inspired by Florence + The Machine’s ‘Everybody Scream.’
As soon as I catch up, can I buy more?