March Julep Maven Box
I am supposed to be an “It Girl”, but I haven’t actually gotten an “It Girl” box since the first month I joined.
This month, I actually picked the “Core Classics” box, because I couldn’t stand ANY of the colors in ANY of the Julep box combinations. This month’s theme was “the Riviera Collection” and all of the colors looked like the pastel colors you’d see on Country Club golfers. And NO glitter. I also wasn’t interested in an exfoliating lip buffer.
The “Core Classics” box has Freedom Polymer Topcoat (so popular that it often sells out), Oxygen Nail Treatment (I don’t even know what that means) and a nail cleaning tool, which I already happen to have. C’est la vie…at least there was some candy in the box.
Hoping for something better next month…
Not a Julep Maven? CLICK HERE to join! Your first box is free with code FREEBOX!
The Purge
After painting my nails, I decided to clean out my makeup drawers…you know, to make room for more makeup.
For years – nay decades, I’ve been searching for the perfect foundation. I scooped up all the failed attempts – Revlon Colorstay, L’Oreal True Match and whatever other liquid, powder and concealer and chunked it.
All the old eyeshadow, blush and lipstick, I put in a box for Lily to play with. There were about a dozen Clinique, Lancome and whatever “Gift with Purchase” lipsticks that my mother had given me. Since she died nearly 9 years ago, I figure that I had held onto them long enough.
I found enough old razors to shave a Sasquatch – gone. I found 3 boxes of Sally Hansen mustache bleach – ha! Gone. A squeeze bottle from when I used to dye my own hair…lord knows I won’t be doing that again. I found an unused pregnancy test…I kept it, but not sure why.
As good as buying stuff feels, throwing stuff away feels even better! I’m not quite back to square one makeup wise, I kept all of the Urban Decay eye stuff, no matter how old. I’m not quite THAT strong.
I also learned something very important today. Don’t ever tag a pic #Purge on Instagram. Apparently, that’s what anorexics, bulimics and cutters use to tag their posts. I clicked on the tag and was treated to pics of bleeding forearms. WTF teenagers? What happened to getting wasted on Mad Dog and Strawberry Hill and giving yourself tattoos with India Ink?
The Rusty Trombone
Behold…THE RUSTY TROMBONE.
If you don’t know what a Rusty Trombone is, I am not going to be the one to tell you. Go ask your kid or something, you old fuddy duddy.
There are many layers to this manicure. The first layer is Sally Hansen Nail Prisms in “Amber Ruby.” It was the closest thing to rust that I had. The second coat is Julep “Glenda” – a creamy silver crackle. Since trombones are usually made of brass, I used Milani 3D Holographic “510” as the third layer. (WTF Milani?)
After 3 coats, my nails were super gooey, so I topped with a coat of Sally Hansen “Diamond Flash Quick Drying Topcoat.” It’s been over 5 hours and I don’t feel like the polish has cured. Hmmm…this rusty trombone might not last long…
Rita Royale
I couldn’t decide which new filthy experiment to do with my nails last night, so I decided to be lazy and try out one of my new Julep polishes – “Rita Royale.”
Doesn’t “Rita Royale” sound like a used up 70s porn star?
I was excited to see how well the polish matched my car – SQUEE!
Everybody Wins
Another day, another surprise in my mailbox.’
I tried to resist, but I only made it about 3 days until I decided that I had to buy $25 of Julep goodies to get their Oscar “Gift with Purchase.” The set was called “Everybody Wins” and comes with a gold sequined clutch (lined with leopard!) and 2 polishes. There were actually 2 sets – both come with “Oscar”gold glitter, but “Holly Would” comes with a holly green frost and “Rita Royale” comes with royal blackcurrant shimmer. (Whatever, it’s fucking fuchshia.)
To get these goodies, I purchased “Party’s Over”, a special glitter polish removal system. Basically little caps that hold a remover pad of the finger. I also got “Glenda” – a- silver crackle topcoat. I know crackle is so 2012, but I wanted it…
My total – $25.39. Like a boss.
I Can’t Stop
I can find a deal anywhere.
Picking up some dinner and ice cream making supplies after work, I couldn’t resist checking to see if there were any clearance polishes. A friend of mine had spied a massive amount of $1.00 – $1.50 polishes on clearance at a different HEB, so I rolled the dice at mine. I found a few $1.00 polishes…2 Maybelline Color Show Holographic polishes – “Mystic Green” and “Blue Blaze.” I also got a little bottle of Rimmel 60 Second in “Blue Eyed Girl” for a future project.
St. Ives Scrubs were also $1 off, so I tried the new varieties – “Pink Lemon and Mandarin Orange” and “Oatmeal Scrub & Mask.” I was also out of Sea Breeze.
And Dr. Delta…because I had a $1.50 off coupon, I bought the friggin’ Eucerin! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!?!?
My 1st Birchbox
I got my first Birchbox yesterday!
I’m quickly becoming addicted to subscription boxes…good thing Birchbox is only $10! I signed up in time to get the February box…this is what I got.
Beauty Protector Protect & Oil, which is Argan Oil for your hair. I’ve never even heard of Argan Oil before, so looking forward to trying it.
A sample of “Hello” by Harvey Prince, a citrus-y scent. I am thinking of layering it with B&BW “White Citrus.”
An itty bitty bottle of OPI Sheer Tints “Don’t Violet Me Down.” (My husband picked up the bottle and opened it and declared that something was wrong with the polish – it’s too thin. I assured him that it’s supposed to be like that.) I was disappointed that I didn’t get the Ruby Wing UV polish that my friend Luci got, but I’ll live.
A tiny vial of Truffle Therapy Anti-Aging Serum by Skin&Co Roma, which again, I’ve never heard of. I tried it last night. I was expecting to wake up looking like Snow White, so I was a bit disappointed, but I guess I’ll give it another couple of days to work. I’m just glad I didn’t wake up to a pig rooting around on my face.
Finally, I got 2 teabags from Harney & Sons Fine Teas. I hate iced tea, but I like hot tea, so I’m looking forward to trying them.
If you would like to try Birchbox, click on my referral link – https://www.birchbox.com/invite/5453f – I’ll get 50 points if you join.
1 Monthiversary
It’s Beauty Hoard’s 1 Monthiversary!
When I started Beauty Hoard, I kind of suspected that I would get bored a few weeks in and would be pissed that I wasted $11.95 on the domain registration. I’m not bored yet…in fact, I am more hyped up than ever. My mind is brimming with all these crazy ideas…are you scared yet? You should be scared.
My Shocker Mani has inspired me…I have a bunch of new ideas that I’m DYING to unleash. If you don’t know what a “Glass Bottom Boat” is, prepare your socks to be knocked off.
In addition, I’ve signed up for Birchbox and Ipsy…so yeah, my addiction is spreading.
Thank you for reading my insane ramblings!
Adventures in Gifts with Purchase
So I bought $24 worth of Ulta eye makeup I didn’t really need in order to get a “gift with purchase” that I didn’t really need. (I did, however, NEED more Zoya polish remover, plus I had a $3.50 off coupon.) That’s what it’s like to be a hoarder.
I bought an Ulta eye crayon in “Devil’s Food”, hoping it would last longer than the eye shadow I’ve been using for my smoky eye. It’s fine so far. Amy found hot pink (the package said “Primrose”, but I think it might be fuchsia) eyeliner and I nearly snatched it from her. As soon as we got back to Amy’s house, I tried the hot pink eyeliner. She said that I look like I have a raging case of pink eye. (No, I did not take a picture.) The good news is that now I can dress up like Bob Costas for Halloween. I also got a new eyebrow pencil, but it’s not any better than the Cover Girl pencil I’ve been using, which is $5 cheaper.
Instead of eye makeup, I wanted to try Ulta powder foundation, but they only have like 3 colors. I spent 20 minutes smearing it on my inner arm and nothing matched, so fiddlesticks.
The “gift with purchase” had a little of everything – eye shadow, mascara, eye liner, lipstick, blush, brushes, nail polish…and primer. What’s the deal with primer? Everyone is out with a primer these days…
I’m a Bad Influence
As she was painting my toenails, my daughter Lily told me that she “wants to be a fingernail painter when she grows up.” Sigh. Way to aim high. To be fair, I’m fairly certain that she thinks that my job is being a fingernail painter. That’s pretty much all I do these days.
But before she painted my toes, Lily painted her own toenails and fingernails.
She picked out Julep “Kristy” and “Lindy” for her toes.
She picked out Julep “Libby” and “Geo” for her fingernails.
She has picked that combination before – she really likes turquoise-y fingernails.
That girl knows what she wants.
I hope she gives me a discount when she is a famous fingernail painter.