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Oops, I Did It Again

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My inspiration for this paint job was Britney Spears’ naked rhinestone suit from the MTV Music Awards. Don’t laugh, Britney is no less a valid inspiration than The Shocker or The Rusty Trombone!

Hands down, essie luxeffects “Set in Stones” is the best glitter to use if you want to draw attention to your nails. I was unable to get a pictures of my nails that didn’t have multiple lens flares.

Underneath the glitter, I put down a single coat of Artmatic “Dusty Rose”, which is one of the oldest polishes that I own. (I don’t remember why, but Dr. Delta gave me this polish when we lived together in college…so it’s at LEAST 17 years old.) I haven’t seen Artmatic in stores in years, but according to the intertwebs, it’s still sold in Dollar Stores. I admit that I had quite a bit of Artmatic makeup in my Junior High years.

This is now my “go to” nail look. Get used to it…

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BOGO

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Julep is evil!

They KNOW that if they send me a BOGO (Buy One, Get One), I’m gonna use it.

I am really loving their monthly Birthstone Collection, so I ordered “Aretha” – Aquamarine for March and “Coretta” – Diamond for April. “Coretta” contains real diamond dust according to the website.

I also spent $2 on a 4 pack of Buffer Blocks. I didn’t expect them to be so tiny.

New Speckled Mystery Boxes were just released…I will resist! I WILL.

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Polish Remover Battle Royale

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I’m taking my polish off 2, 3, sometimes 4 or 5 times week. I also use a lot of glitter. When I say “a lot” – I mean a fuck ton. A METRIC FUCK TON.

Since joining Julep and then starting this blog, I’ve gotten a few suggestions to take me beyond the usual drugstore removers. The first suggestion I got was from my cuzzin, Beth – Zoya “Remove +”. I was going on and on about Julep and she said I HAD to try Zoya Remover. Although I still haven’t gotten my hands on Zoya polish, I immediately went to Ulta and picked up the Zoya Remover for $10. It’s really tough on glitter, although it can still take a long time scrubbing my nails. It smells good and leaves my skin feeling soft.I was all impressed because I thought it didn’t contain acetone – the main ingredient was listed as 2-Propanone. A quick Google told me that 2-Propanone IS acetone. Very sneaky, Zoya.

My friend Angie commented on the site that she swears by the little plastic jar that you dip your fingers in from Target. (The product is actually called up&up “nail polish remover dip-it”.) It was only $3-$4, so I picked one up. Immediately, I was reminded of THE DIP from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? This shit melts fingernail polish like it was a tiny cartoon horn. There are little scrubbies inside the jar that power the glitter off. Except for the fact that it dries my skin out like leather, this is the best thing EVER.

The last product I tried out is Julep’s “Party’s Over” Glitter Nail Polish Remover Kit. The kit is 10 little silicone caps that you pop on the end of your nails with an acetone wipey. The first 7 caps went on just fine…the last 3 were a bitch to get one. I would have tried one hand at a time, but I was afraid the wipeys would dry out. This method works exceedingly well…but it was $22 for just 5 packets of wipeys.

Ultimately, the winner of the Polish Remover Battle Royale is…the up&up “nail polish remover dip-it”, but the remover inside of it is exceedingly toxic-feeling. When I finish it off, I’m going to refill it will Zoya “Remove +” to create the PERFECT product.

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Kroger Haul

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I can’t pass up a good deal…my Kroger had a bunch of polish at 50% off.

I made my husband and kids stand there in the aisle while I dug through my coupons. I had a $1.50 off and a $1.00 off Maybelline coupon, so I got 2 – Color Show Street Art “Wild at Heart” and Color Show “Emerald City”. I’m a bit confused that the “Emerald City” is more blue than green…but whatever. Regularly $3.99 each and $1.99 on clearance – I paid $.99 and $.49 each.

They also had Revlon Perfumerie, Sally Hansen and more at 50% off. I need to go back…

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Stained Glass

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Pictures do not do my nails justice – they are gorgeous!

I started with a coat of Sally Hansen “Flirt” – a dark maroon. Then I added a sloppy coat of Sparitual Luminary Matte Top Effect in “Opaline”. My nails looks like stained glass. Blood-splattered stained glass!

This is my first experience with Sparitual products. The bottle says Vegan, but I bought it anyway. (At first I thought they were referring to ingredients, but then I realized they must be referring to the animal testing aspect. Feh, I put nail polish all over my dog and she’s fine.) It’s the most expensive polish I’ve ever bought at $12, but again, my nails look damn good.

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20% Off Ulta Haul

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Send me a coupon…and I’m gonna use it.

Ulta has always been pretty free with their $3.50 off coupons, but they’re nothing special, since you can’t use them on “Prestige” brands. But the 20% off coupon they sent IS usable on “Prestige”. That’s kind of a big deal.

Since I had just ordered the Too Faced “Boudoir Eyes” Palette for my BFF, I decided I wanted it, too. (We don’t get all salty when we get the same products – we like buying the same makeup, carrying the same purses, wearing the same horsemask.) They were out of the free “Better Than Sex” mascara, but the clerk gave me a sample of Bare Minerals “Lash Domination”.

As I was testing Too Faced BB Cream, the stila makeup artist asked if I had any questions. I didn’t realize she was just stila, so she couldn’t answer any of my questions about the Too Faced stuff. For once, I didn’t have my kids with me, so I figured why not try the stila? (It’s funny how these makeup artists talk shit about other brands. I mentioned that I used to use Bare Minerals and she said it’s basically like rubbing dirt on my face.) I let her try out the stila Stay All Day Foundation on me. Honestly, it wasn’t bad, but too much work for me. I DID like the Set & Correct Baked Powder Trio and bought it. I also picked up 3 of the lip glazes from last month’s Birchbox – Red Velvet, Lychee and Banana Berry – they were 3 for $15!

Finally, I grabbed a Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz pencil in “Soft Brown”. I’ve heard good things about Anastasia Dip Brow, but again – too much work for me. I’ve already tried the pencil and I’m liking it so far…lighter than the normal cheapie pencils I use, but more natural.

My initial total was about $115, but with the 20% off coupon and $11 in Ulta Rewards, it was $79…this post should have been called “How to Make Your Husband Shit a Brick.”

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I’m a Giver

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It doesn’t matter that her birthday is still almost 3 weeks away…as soon as I got the last part of her gift in the mail, I had to give my BFF her birthday present. Mostly because I was afraid she might visit Ulta herself…

She wanted the Too Faced “Boudoir Eyes” Palette really bad…solely based on the fact that there is a color of eye shadow called “Sugar Walls”. I guess she wants to unleash her inner Sheena Easton. The palette came with a free “Better Than Sex” mascara and eye shadow primer.

She also wanted the Urban Decay Naked Palette. She already had Naked 3 and her daughter has Naked 2, so now her life is complete – she can die happy with fabulous eyes.

 

 

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Ulta Mail

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Sick of looking at my fingernails? Let me tell you about the Ulta mail that was in my mailbox today after I went shopping at Ulta…

I’m not sharing all of the items in my box yet – more gifts – but in addition to the gifts, I picked up my first essie polish – essie luxeffects “Set in Stones”. I also got Sparitual Luminary Top Effect “Opaline”. I saw it in the store over Spring Break and I’ve been thinking about it non-stop, so why not?

My gift with purchase was samples from it Cosmetics by Jamie Kern (never heard of them before) – Vitality Lip Blush Hydrating Lip Gloss Stain in “Naturally Flushed”, Bye Bye Under Eye Full Coverage Anti-Aging Waterproof Concealer and a tiny packet of Medium CC+ Cream – bummed that it will be WAY too dark for me.

My free samples were Biolage Exquisite Oil Shampoo and Conditioner, DevaCurl Ultra Defining Gel and Ouidad Climate Control Heat and Humidity Gel. I need to stop getting hair shit samples…

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Glitter to the Rescue!

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The more polish that I buy, the harder it is to choose! It’s a conundrum worthy of O. Henry…

So why choose? I knew I had to do something to stop the rapid degradation of Julep “Caitlin” from my nails. Instead of picking just one…I picked 5 glitters.

From thumb to pinky, I used Sally Hansen Gem Crush “Razzle Dazzler”, wet n wild coloricon “The Crown is Mine”, Julep “Antonia”, Nicole by OPI “Rainbow in the S-Kylie” (Yes, I am guilty of contributing to the Kardashians’ empire by buying clearance nail polish at HEB – shoot me) and Julep “Betty”.

I LOVE this crazy glitter bonanza!

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I’m a Barbie Girl…

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…in a Barbie world. Life in plastic – it’s fantastic!

You just sang that in your head, didn’t you?

After the Traffic Cones incident, I had high hopes for the other polish from my April Julep Box. “Caitlin” is described as shocking hibiscus with gold shimmer. To me, it looks more like the Barbie pink plastic that all of my daughter’s Barbie shit is made from. It’s cheap plastic from China – so sheer that you can almost see through it….just like “Caitlin”. This time, I only applied one coat – it was the same matte finish as “Mariska”, so I topped with “Freedom Polymer”.

Unlike “Mariska”, I LOVE the color – I just hate the finish. Even with the topcoat, it’s chipping ridiculously quickly. I’m sleepy, so GLITTER TO THE RESCUE!